I used to have killer abs. I'm just going to go ahead and say that my abdominal muscles were my pride and joy. I would just go one day without eating a lot of carbs and they were flat like a pancake. Now they are mediocre at best. I had no idea how good they were until they were gone. I miss my clothes. A whole closet full and I can't wear them.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love the fact that I was able to get pregnant. It took me a long time, fertility clinic drugs and all. We won the lottery of babies, and I am very, very grateful. But, I'm not sure if it's because I felt like I deserved to eat whatever I want because I worked so hard to get to this point, as though I was privileged over others who got pregnant so easily, but I ate my effing face off. I packed my lunch in doubles: double puddings, double yogurts, double doubles. I honestly thought I deserved it and that it couldn't possibly affect me. Lo and behold I ended up gaining 70 lbs. There I was, 40 weeks pregnant and stepping on the scale at 220 lbs.
I was in denial too. I told myself, "it's all baby." I told myself, "it'll come off so easily after he's out." Boy was I wrong! I mean, I lost a good 40 lbs minus baby, bloat and breastfeeding calories. But do the math people, I still have a good 30 lbs to go. 30 lbs! Eff me...
So let's recalculate. 220 lbs minus 70 lbs means I started at about 150 lbs. Let's minus one year from that a.k.a 10 lbs and you have a good 140 lbs - the weight I was at for most of my adult life. Oh gosh do I miss the days of being 140 lbs. I thought I was huge at the time but I can't even fathom fitting into those tiny jeans right now.
So, 220 lbs minus 40 lbs equals 180 lbs. That's where I stand at 5 months post-partum. My measurements are the following: Bust 35 inches, Waist 31 inches, Hips 44.5 inches
Diet: Weight Watchers. Seems to be the only plan that I have used in the past that a) didn't make me go crazy, and b) didn't make me gain back the weight as soon as I ate "normally" again. I have to go to those meetings though because they make me accountable, and I feel like a sodding idiot when I go in weighing more.
Exercise: Classes at the gym 4 times a week and the treadmill at home. I think I should go on it for a walk everyday for at least 30 minutes just until spring arrives and I'm able to go outside.
I start on January 1, 2011. My first Weight Watcher's meeting is on Tuesday, January 4th. I will tell you my weigh-in results as I go which will make me even MORE accountable. And pictures. Who doesn't love pictures? I am brave to post these. But I won't reveal my face until I hit that 140 lb mark.
I'm not going to dwell in the past. I am what I am right now. And I have a wonderful child out of it. So here I am:
(Sorry about the pant marks... I am still shocked that I am posting these!)
SO wish me luck. Here I go...