Week 9: Day Three - Support

Thank you so much ladies for your support.  Because of your words, ladies, my weekend went very well.  I kept surging on. I woke up this morning and felt amazing that I hadn't turned to food to solve my insecurities. So THANK YOU for that.  I needed some REAL voices, that truly understand my struggles to hold me up as I'm falling down.  And I'm proud to say that this time I broke the vicious cycle (feel bad, eat, feel worse, eat, feel bad, etc. etc. etc...) This time, I felt bad, and I DIDN'T eat, and now I feel good again. Go figure.  Holy crap, that was hard though.  Fighting my inner demons was hard. They're so convincing sometimes. I find you can convince yourself of anything if you put your mind to it. Which can either work in your favor or set you up for failure.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you step on the scale and it's a good number, you somehow convince yourself that you're allowed to eat badly? Why do I do that? Just because a number on the scale is good, doesn't give me the right to slander all the progress I have made. Maybe I'm the only one, but I really have to fight myself sometimes after a weigh-in.

I signed up for the 10k race in May. I thought I'd do the 5k but I KNOW it's within me to work hard and do the 10k. I will just have to work that much harder, and that's what motivation is all about. I did the 10k in 2009, and I loved every minute of it. Here I am running in a race in 2008.

I see pictures of myself running and I wish I could go back, and stand in the side-lines and cheer me on.  I wish I had appreciated it more than I did. I'm glad I have a photo so I can remind myself of how I felt in my running days. It's easy to forget once you stop for a certain amount of time. This time when I get back to this, I will definitely not take it for granted. I will look at myself in the mirror when i get back from a long run and tell myself how proud I am.

Anyways, I've switched my Weight Watcher day to Wednesday because I really like the support ladies better on Wednesdays. We had to go Wednesday last week because my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law couldn't make our usual Tuesday. Turns out, I like Wednesdays much better. I actually got a "good job" when I stepped on the scale another pound lighter. Oh! AND I got my 5% sticker!  Never thought I'd be so excited about a stupid sticker!

Have a good week ladies! Thanks again for the support.

Week 8: Day Four - Old Habits Die Hard

Okay so I went to a wedding on Sunday and for some reason, I felt like the fattest cow.  All those feelings of insecurities came rushing back to me.  I feel like I ended up right where I started before this whole journey.  I even wore Spanx and I still felt huge.  I couldn't stand it by the end of the night when the dance floor started I pulled my husband away and we took a cab home.

I had psyched myself up for this for the past 2 months.  I felt really good at first, but as the night wore on, I felt like everyone was judging me. I thought I was over this, but I guess old habits die hard. I kept trying to tell myself that I was overreacting, but I just couldn't shake it.

Anyways, I know this isn't an encouraging post, but I guess it had to happen sooner or later.  Today my the pants I bought for going back to work (size 14) were way too loose on me, so that brought myself back up a few notches. I am still about 30 lbs bigger than I was 2 years ago, and that still resonates with me.  I need your help ladies.  Some words of encouragement would be great right about now.. 

Week 7: Day Six - Jillian (my girl crush)

Oh Jillian, let me count the ways.  I have a love/hate relationship with Jillian Michaels.  She is one tough lady.  But, she seems to be the key to my success.  As I had mentioned in a previous post, I did the 30 Day Shred and have now started another one of her videos Blast Fat, Boost Metabolism.  Thank goodness I did the 30 Day Shred first.  It really prepared me for what was to come on BFBM.  Basically BFBM is the same as the 30DS except added kickboxing moves in between so you can catch your breath.  Instead of a 20-30 minute workout, it's a 40-50 minute work out.  After I'm done, I am sweating buckets, and my heart rate is revved up.  I really enjoy it because you don't need any equipment.  She uses your body weight to work you out.  In my opinion, this is the best way to exercise.  Getting your body moving vs. standing there and pulling weights on a machine is far more effective for weight loss.  She uses jump-training and honestly, I have never moved my body like that before.  When I first did the jump-training moves, I thought I was going to die.  It's not so bad now, but still gets my heart rate like nothing else.

I am going to try No More Trouble Zones today, another of Jillian's masterpieces.  This one uses 3-5 lb dumbells, so I can start to tone my arms. They're a li-tt-le flabby.

Oh yeah, and I weighed in at WW - I was down another pound, so 173.2!

If you have any questions about Jillian, please feel free to ask me!

Week 6: Day Five - Holy Cow!

I'm down 3.5 lbs this week!! YES! Finally some faster progress!  Now I'm really revved up and ready to take on next week! I intentionally went to the other lady to weigh-in although she wasn't much better in terms of encouragement.  I don't know if it's because they're very busy or what, but I find they are very rushed there.  I don't ever get a "good job" anymore like I used to.  Maybe it's the new program?  I know that I'm just an number there, but I have been doing WW off and on for over 10 years and I used to always get encouragement at the scale.  Also, in total I have lost 7 lbs, and I didn't get a 5 lbs goal sticker.  I know it sounds lame, it's just a stupid sticker right?  But I worked HARD for that stupid sticker.  My mother-in-law had to ask for both of hers as she has lost 11.5 lbs total.  So it's not just a one-time thing, seems to be a theme at this location.

Anyways, on with the positives.  I made some oatmeal raisin bites from one of the WW pamphlets.  They are really good! I added Splenda instead of sugar, so that probably brought the points value down.  I've never bothered to make a recipe before so I'm pretty pleased with myself!  Next week I will try something new.  I get the e-tools free for 2 weeks so I'll see if it's worth keeping it or not.  Anyone recommend any low-fat recipes they love?  I hate making something new and having it turn out to taste like pure garbage.  It's such a waste of time. 

I'm still adjusting to my new life as a working mommy, but I think things are working out pretty well so far.  I have a nice routine everyday and it surprisingly includes everything.  My little guy is very laid-back so it's easy to not worry about him during the day when I'm at work.  The babysitter sends pictures and updates on how he's doing, and that helps too.

I am looking forward to running outside again.  Two years ago, I did a 10 k and I loved it.  Last summer I was pregnant and decided against running.  I'm going to sign up for a 5 k in May.  This will give me incentive to train regularly. There's nothing like running outside as the sun is setting, and you're floating off the pavement.  I want that feeling again.  It's very addictive, but in a good way.

Anyways, I'm very happy with my weigh-in this week.  And I think I needed the large change this week.  I have honestly been working very hard, and I believe I can chalk up my last weigh-in to my wonderful monthly visitor.  I didn't mention it last time because I didn't want it to sound like I was trying to make excuses.  Thanks a lot Aunt Flow.

Week 5: Day Seven - Oh boy...

Ok so scrolling down I just realized how many stomach pictures I have on here.  People must be thinking I'm obsessed with my abs... the truth is, I am a little... but let me explain - ONLY because it is the place where I usually see a noticeable difference in dieting.  I promise I won't be posting another picture of them.   I hope that next time there will be a noticeable difference in my hips.  They are measuring 44 inches right now.  I want them to measure 41 again.  That's only 3 inches! That's totally doable.  

It's FRIDAY, and I just wanted to come on here to remind myself that even though it's FRIDAY, it doesn't give me the right to pig-out.  And to apologize for all the belly pictures!!

Have a good and healthy weekend everyone!

Week 5: Day Four - One Month Down!

I was going to post my ONE MONTH D-DAY ANNIVERSARY!! But, instead I thought I'd focus on something that might be helpful to you if you happen to experience this during YOUR journey.

Okay, remember my last post when I said I have to prepare myself for the weeks where I go up or I don't see change?  So for some reason I weighed in at 177.3 again.  Not sure why, because yesterday morning when I stepped on the scale I was 175.9, but you know what, you really can't always go by the numbers... your weight fluctuates so much on a daily basis all it takes is for you to drink a glass of water and be up 1/2 a pound.  It's the overall journey/goal that really matters.

So I was okay with this lack of change.  I had a hard weekend coping with the fact that I went back to work and adjusting to my new life.  I probably ate more this weekend than I normally do, still making better choices than the old me.  The old me would have dialed up Pizza Hut and had a field day, but luckily the new me was in charge and I had my usual alternative to stave me off.

The stupid jerk who weighed me in tonight, looked at me with glaring eyes and said, "oh..... no change this week..." In a "oh my, you suck" kind of tone. WTF.  I have never had a WW person lack so much positivity than this lady.  I literally had to tell her, "I'm okay with this!"  I mean, how does she know what went on during my week?  I've had only loss so far, I think a week where I stayed the same was due! (Hence the fact that I posted this exact thing literally last week!!)  She has always been a jerk though, I'm going to avoid her at weigh-ins.  That, or switch locations or days.  I can't have Negative Nelly hinder my journey!

So, I stayed the same, so what?  I'm not giving up! Why would I now?  After all my hard work, I don't deserve that!  In fact, it made me rethink my strategy - I'm going to start running after Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred - clearly I need a change to rev up my metabolism.  Strangely enough, the meeting was about "sticking with it" and "positive thinking/reinforcement" tonight.  I had to chuckle under my breath - how can I have positive thinking when I'm stepping on the scale with such judgement?  Heck yes I'm going to  STICK WITH IT!  I'm not going to let some negative jerk stand in my way!  My body deserves me to stick with it.  It went through hell last year, having a baby and all.  It deserves this exercise, and better food choices.

If I wasn't so wiped, I would have complained.  But honestly, if she pulls a stunt like that again, I'm going to speak up further.  If she's doing that to me, she's probably doing it to everyone.  And I'm stronger than some/most people.  That type of attitude might put someone who is really struggling right off.  I'm lucky I prepared myself, or I might just have walked out the door.  Those people are there to help motivate you.  Why am I reassuring myself? I give her the Jerk of the Week award. ;)

Anyways, I promised it, so here are some pictures! I'm not ready for the full view - there really isn't a drastic enough change to post anyways.  But I will show you my beloved abs.  They're slowly making a comeback!

Jan 1st - Front View

Feb 1st - Front View

Jan 1st - Side View

Feb 1st - Side View

So I think it's safe to say that my abs are well on their way.  This month, I'm going to focus on my hips.  That's where the running comes in.  I plan to do 30 mins 4 times a week as well as keeping up with Jillian (I'm going to look into getting her fat blaster video)

And I'd like to end the post with - I MADE IT THROUGH THE FIRST MONTH!!!!